Last night I realized just how depressed I was.
I know I should take my meds, but fuck it. I’ve got a greener remedy ;)
‘Cept for the fact that when I was smoking last night, I went through my entire life in my head, like a movie, and I realized that there is so much that I miss.
I also came to the realization that I really wouldn’t care if I died today. Trule, I wouldn’t. I am feeling that low at this point in my life. College this semester SUCKS DICK. Can’t wait till summer. Can’t wait to get a job and earn money. Can’t wait to see my family and the few friends that I left in GA. Can’t wait for Marching season again.
Anyway, I’m just going to list all of the things in my life that I miss 100%
1. I miss Puerto Rico- I know I was only a Toddler when I left, but I know it’s home, because when I go there, I feel like I should have never left.
2. I miss Pacific. He was my best friend and neighbor there. again, I know we were just kids, but we had chicken pox together, and that is a lifelong bond. I last saw Pacific when I was 13. I was at SixFlags waiting in line for the Shuttle ride. A boy with tan skin, platinum blonde hair, and eyes like the ocean caught my attention. Although it had been 10 years, I KNEW who he was, and I know he knew me aswell. We both ran for each other laughing and smiling. and when we hugged, it was like I knew that this was no coincidence. Turns out he lives in Mobile, Alabama! I plan on visiting him soon.
3. I miss the old GirlScout troop. I know we were bitches to each other, but aside from all the drama. You guys had my back.
4. I miss spending my days with Birgitta Watts and Tori Adcock. <3 I will never forget all the funny, messed up, crazy times we had.
5. I miss Chuck-E-Cheese with the troop, AND camp :) Fuck that polar bear swim though.
6. I miss middle school, when I was well liked and totally in love with Alex Northrop.
7. I miss the 8th grade where a big group of us would walk towards the 6th graders JUST to see them divide and let us through, staring at us with wide eyes. Like in a movie or something lol
8. I miss Mrs. Templetons 9th grade Honors english class. Having me, Birgitta, Tevin, Emma, Weston, Kris Barhart, and an assortment of the kind of not bitchy preps was fun fun fun :)
9. I miss Shannon Smith. I’m sorry I was too stuck up Weston’s ass to see just how much you liked me even though the last time we talked before that was 7th grade.
10. I miss Physical Science in the 10th grade with Weston King, and Emily Dodge. That shit was cray. Even though I was fucked up on pills, and we made a 47 on our final project, it was fun. haha
11. I MISS 11TH GRADE WITH THE QUAD. ANNELISE GILMER, WESTON KING, AUSTIN KING, AND I. I know we caused a SHITLOAD of drama. I know we fought. I know Emily Dodge, Annelise, and I started a burn book that hurts sooooo many peoples feelings(That book is STILL in the drain by the band room), but hell, we had some fun. And although I realize how bad it was now, I miss being envied, I miss being semi-hated, I miss being TALKED ABOUT.
12. I miss guitar hero at Annelise’s….and making crazy food concoctions….and shopping for kick-ass clothes that everyone wanted.
13. I miss Doug and Heidi Watts….I wonder where I’d be now if I had just a little more time with you two. <3 And you’ll be happy to know that Birgitta and I no longer fight :)
14. I miss the Hippo Crew. A.k.a Me, Chris Strickland, and Rachel Myers <3 so many good times
15. I miss Lilly Paige <3 I’ve not seen you in forever :(
16. I miss AP music Theory :) 15 cool people in one room? Too much to handle.
17. I miss all 4 years of Highschool band. Lord…..what a ride.
18. I miss singing in the Talent show with Birgitta Watts. We should have at least got second. Benjamin Vagase, you rock for being our accompanist.
19. I miss sitting in Birgitta’s room with Ashlie Sanders and Birgitta, Jamming to Panic at the Disco, and The Used. <3
20. I miss Weston Hunter King. I miss your kisses. I miss when we had a GOOD relationship. I know now that we just arent compatible. When you starting dating Brie, I was so hurt and I kinda wanted to kill you considering all of the bullshit you but me though, but mostly, I miss our FRIENDSHIP. Relationship aspect out the window. I miss calling each other names and laughing our asses off about it. I miss playing video games all day. I miss going tubing. I miss Harry Potter marathons. I miss singing with you that one Valetine’s Day. I miss being on the river all last summer. I just miss you. Can’t wait till I have my best guy friend back. I know we had so many rough times, but you know I’ll always do anything for you if you need it.
21. I miss Graduation night. Seeing the majority of our class in one place, partying, crying, singing, and GETTING ALONG was something magical. I can’t wait for our reunion.
22. I miss Drew. Kissing you was great. You’re super sweet, and I would have dated you if you weren’t such a player.
23.I miss the Jumping rock with Drew, Weston, Caleb, and Cody. :)
24. I miss my HS sax family <3
25. I miss chilling at the Dodge’s house with Sarah, Chris, Ben, Torrey, Weston, Ericlee, Annelise, Ashley, Austin, Zeke, Benjamin, Jon. I miss Jon eggs, and “PUNALLAAAA!!!”. And Hide and seek, and Mrs. Dodge’s cooking. and “yea whatever”. and titanic :p good fucking times.
26. I miss last semester. :) Me, Shelby, Kimmy(for what little time she was here :/), Michelle, Jessica. Clark, Lakiya, John, Chris, Justin, Ninja, Ryan, Fancy, Rico. SOUTHERNERS RULED. The trips. Kissing <3 The SEXIEST man in the whole entire band<3 for the first time ;) yea, I did it…soooo hott. Drinking and Smoking like it wasn’t a problem. CENTURY PONG. BIG BOOTY BITCHES. Aderrol. Coloring all night. Being Lazy. all of the practices. Sure, we fucked our grades up, but we had fun.
I miss all of these lovely memories. So much. and if I could go back and re-live them, I honestly wouldn’t change a damn thing.
Actually; this is my next blog post. A friend linked me to a deviantART account that has “Twisted Princesses” aka, Disney ones. I’ve sourced the whole gallery so flick through there. It’s AMAZING. Why did I not find this before?! Shame on me! There’s even background story descriptions of HOW they became twisted. Incredible!
